Oh, Oh… the Holidays are upon us! How many of you are grinding your teeth because your least favorite relative will be showing up? Relax, it happens to all of us but by bringing yourself to relax and forgive you will have freedom. You probably think you have to forgive them for some slight or even perhaps a terrible thing that they did, but you don’t.
We have been taught to judge everyone and everything since before we were 5 years old. Can you see your small self sitting at the Judges Bench with a gavel in your small hand and making decision about this one or that one: guilty/dislike or innocent/like? We are taught to judge and know the score in order to protect ourselves. It is part of growing up in a dualistic world that contains both good and evil.
Let’s face it; some people we like and some we don’t. If we can understand however that it is the thought “I like or dislike” in the mind that is causing the problem. You can change it. It is just a thought and is it really true? Be open. First of all admit you are unhappy about something. For example: You have a relative that really bugs you, he/she is a loud mouth, controlling, conniving busy body. When you have a few minutes to spare this Holiday Season sit down, be still and take a few deep breaths until you feel calmer. Stay focused on that quiet safe place inside. Imagine you are holding the hand of Love/Spirit/God, whatever compassion and love represents for you. Stay quiet for a while and then tell Love, whose hand you are holding, what is on your heart, how do you feel? Perhaps: “Aunt Julia drives me crazy with her constant badgering questions and I want peace. I’m afraid I may blow up. How can I see her/this differently?” Then wait and look and continue to stay quiet. Watch your thoughts. A thought will come, maybe in the next few minutes, an hour or maybe days later but stay open, hang tight! The “ah ha” thought you’ve asked for will come and will bring peace. If the thought does not bring peace, it is not from Love but is from the ego, the part of our mind that likes to holds the gavel.
We do not know everything there is to know about another, even close relatives. The “new” thought will bring a feeling of release coming from the voice for love and understanding to your Higher Self. Sometimes this has to be repeated because the ego can be vicious and is resistant to input that is not of itself. When we have been given the information to see a person, our self or a situation differently, we understand, we can then see it another way. We cease believing our judgments and let them go because we were mistaken. The ego is not our friend and will separate us from others as it projects onto them. A projection is a judgment that we project out, onto someone else and perceive it in them, in order not to recognize aspects of it in our self. Like disliking someone who constantly interrupts when we unconsciously do the same thing.
The spiritual, non-dual, metaphysical book, ‘A Course In Miracles’ states
“Forgiveness on the other hand is still and quietly does nothing. It merely looks and waits and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive.”
When we quiet the mind we see that our judgments serve to separate and divide us, one from the other. We are miserable and alone. We are not residing In Love.
How freeing to have a mind at rest! During this Season of Love, rest yourself!
Go to the quiet place within and listen to the Love that IS You. We all have had experiences that seem beyond the forgiveness factor. The question is: How long do you want to hold onto the pain? We do have a very high tolerance for pain. It will last as long as you hold the grievance/judgment. Take yourself off the judge’s bench, be pain free and forgive everyone for everything!
A Course In Miracles – Lessons with Forgiveness Themes
Click on some of the Workbook Lessons below
Lesson 78. Let miracles replace all grievances
Lesson 121. Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
Lesson 122. Forgiveness offers everything I want
Lesson 134. Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.
What is Forgiveness – Workbook Part II page. 401