Forgiveness: How to do it?
When I don’t forgive I am in misery. I am in doubt and afraid. I am sad and confused and without a clue about what I should do. I feel awful and nothing goes right. My mind is like the branches of this gnarled oak tree, going every which way and winding up….where?
“Forgiveness, on the other hand, is still and quietly noes nothing. It offends no aspect of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearances it likes. It merely looks, and waits and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is.” ACIM Workbook pg. 401. 1. What is Forgiveness.
You can see forgiveness has three important aspects.
- Looks: when I feel AWFUL like the above statement describes, I need to look carefully and notice the disturbed thoughts. At this point I am in charge of my mind because my “decision maker” has decided to look. I know I need help to look so I ask the Holy Spirit to help me see this problem/judgment differently. I have not turned to the ego for help because it will help me hide under its dark wings of denial but I must look because that is where peace lies.
- Waits: I have looked and now I wait for the peace to descend. I have honestly looked at the problem, what I am in doubt about, what I have judged, am afraid of or sad and confused about. I have withdrawn my projections (projections make perceptions) onto others and have either found it or aspects of it in myself. I know peace will descend if it hasn’t already. A “thought” my enter my mind and it will clarify things.
- Judges not: If I keep ruminating over the problem or if I don’t see and withdraw the projections I will not have peace. If I continue to judge I am afraid of love and I don’t want peace. I must continue these three steps until I have what I want: PEACE
The Course In Miracles is a non-dualistic thought system. We are not our bodies, we are living in a dream and the world is not real. Nothing has happened therefore there is really nothing to forgive. Do you forgive the person in your dream who has hurt you? It’s a dream! But since we believe the world is real, this practice of forgiveness helps us look at the illusion, our ego’s silly upsetting thoughts and ask the Holy Spirit or Jesus to help wake us up.
This practice of forgiveness does not accept that anyone has harmed you or ever could harm you. You have harmed yourself by believing the egos judgmental thoughts and thinking you could be separate from God. That’s it!
Example: When your family member annoys you, look at the annoyance and ask the Holy Spirit to see it differently. Wait a bit and soon you will have a thought of a time when you annoyed them. Ahhhh….there is the projection. Then DO NOT judge yourself. Just say “No big deal.” I was wrong and now I am Happy.
Remember only this: This is a dream – nothing has happened! That is the bottom line!
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