Is it possible to really love someone and at the same time judge them? “He or she’s really great but……” Maybe they are not doing what you would do or want them to do i.e. teens getting home late; partner over spending or not spending on the right things; children, friends acting out and annoying you. There are irritations in our lives but WHO is annoyed and why? Identify the part of your mind that is upset. It is the part that is impatient, judgmental and is angry demanding punishment. Yes parents need to discipline children but it can be done with love, calmly verses anger or blame. The ego mind judges and demands discipline or punishment but it is not your identity. You are much more than that.
The goal of a peaceful life unfolds when we decide to change our thoughts. We become uncomfortable with our current modus operation. We have a split mind – love and hate. We finally realize the part of the mind where the ego’s schemes are hatched and how it can disrupt our lives. The ego is NOT who we are and we no longer heed its urgings. We gradually awaken to our true identity and accept that we are the love, the Spirit within. The ego tries to cover it up and creates havoc but you take charge and recognize the LOVE within that you are. That love has been there all along.
If we listen to the ego’s voice we will never love un-conditionally. The ego’s way of loving amount’s to manipulation to get its way or giving in order to get. What’s in it for me? Challenge yourself to watch its gyrations and observe it but don’t follow it or feel guilty. We all have ego thoughts. Just look and laugh! Even something as innocent as going to lunch or dinner and seeing someone the ego judges as “different,” maybe it’s their annoying clothes, their voice or the way they chew food. It is a judgment and it is from 100% separation. That person could be someone you have longed to meet (a favorite author or a professor of quantum physics) if you only knew! The ego does not know anything. Judgment separates us into lonely boxes. Even a “good” judgment, for example “what beautiful hair she has,” which really means I do not have hair like that and so we are different. The ego likes to compare. Love never condemns. You have a powerful mind that DECIDES; you can choose to listen or dismiss the judgmental thoughts of separation. And if you judge yourself it is the ego trapping you. Don’t listen!
Imagine what it feels like to be deeply accepted, loved and totally guilt free. Feel that within; give it to yourself and you will give it to others. If you condemn others you are condemning yourself. Jesus said “Judge not so ye be not judged.” Condemn and you are a prisoner of guilt; but love and you are guilt free. Realize how guilty or sorry you feel after you have attacked someone and eventually we know it is not worth it! Love sweeps all ego beliefs away with a gentle hand of compassion.
Love is within and not found out there in the world. Go within and think of someone who has loved you unconditionally. Maybe a grand parent, aunt or uncle? If you cannot identify anyone, then entertain the thought of an all loving Creator; Yahweh; Allah, Jesus; Mohammed; Krishna or God (or your dog) beaming love at you like a laser beam. Feel it – and it is yours. It is your inheritance. You are no longer lost. Love found you. Hear the inner voice of Spirit telling you that you are LOVE; a loving mind choosing love. Everyone is included in the same identity of Oneness.
Wear that identity of LOVE into the world. There is a blessed relief that washes over us when we realize our Oneness with everyone and all things. All bitter struggles, the distractions and loneliness end when we refuse thoughts of separation. Be a love finder, not a fault finder and pure joy will fill your mind and Peace Prevails. “When you want only love, you will see nothing else.” A Course In Miracles T. 12. VII. 8. (pg. 231)
Miracles are seen in light, and light and strength are one. Workbook lesson 92. “If we see others as different from ourselves … we judge and condemn but do not love.”
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