Tag: bullying

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Bully or Beauty

On By SallyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment
McKirgan, Sally. Northern California Clouds, Watercolor.

Bully For you” ….remember that saying.  Like its ok to bully your way through whatever, wherever, whenever, go ahead, push, pull, be bold and assert yourself.  Yes, there are times when thoughtful goal setting may be necessary in this world but that is not bullying as outlined below.  I remember one time when my husband and I pushed our way into a venue to see Barack Obama. Should I call that “soft” bullying?  I don’t think we physically harmed anyone or damaged any psyche.  My friend Jim sent me the below definitions of the bully.  Take a look and do an honest self-assessment.   Share this with your friends, kids and grandkids so they realize the injury it does and assess behaviors or themselves or friends. Remember the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”   There are professionals who refuse to read reviews because they know the hurt.   As we grow in our spiritual understanding hopefully we let insults run off and forgive, but younger people and children usually can’t.   

Bullying takes many forms.  We have an “inner” bully” too.  Watch your thoughts to see if you bully yourself or others internally.   What is the thought doing to YOU?  Is it making you happy?   Bottom line is the bully aka everybody, needs love.   See love or the call for love.  Just change your mind and offer kindness and peace to yourself and to anyone else who bullies.  Here are Jim’s definitions.  You may have some to add.

Anyone who is unkind to another person is a bully.

Anyone who points at another person who appears different and shouts or laughs at that person is a bully.

Anyone who belittles another person is a bully.

Anyone who threatens or harasses or intimidates another person is a bully.

Anyone who calls another by a derogatory name is a bully.

Anyone who physically or verbally abuses another person is a bully.

Anyone who coerces another person is a bully.

Anyone who joins with others to “mob” or “gang up” is a bully.

Anyone who tries to dominate another person is a bully.

Anyone who spreads false or malicious rumors is a bully.

Anyone who mocks another person is a bully.

Anyone who taunts another person is a bully.

Anyone who “trolls”, who purposely creates discord or starts arguments, is a bully. (Starts flame wars)

Stealing, shoving, hitting, provoking, and destroying another’s property are signs of a bully.

Being rude to, or insulting, or yelling at someone without justifiable cause is a sign of a bully.

Making fun of a person who is different is a sign of a bully.

Unprovoked yelling at someone is a sign of a bully.

Social exclusion and social aggression can be signs of a bully.

Malicious lies, rumor, innuendo, humiliation, and discrediting are signs of a bully.

We all have the capacity to be a bully, but wouldn’t we be happier if we stopped the bullying and were kind to one another.  

Bullying is a sign of unhappiness and a lack of love. Be the Beauty of the Perfect Mountain; centered, loved, cherished with a Holy Mind connected to and guided by the Love of the Universe.

See A Course In Miracles – http://www.acim.org Lesson 23. I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts. Other ACIM websites are:

http://www.miraclecenter.org

http://www.facim.org

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Identify with Love and you are safe.

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In A Course In Miracles Workbook lesson #261 – God is my refuge and security, W.pg 426,  we are gently guided to see God aka LOVE as our security blanket in all situations.  Yes, you can even suck your thumb if needed!

My youngest son used to drag his security blanket, an old white one that I continually had to make smaller because of the ragged condition, until it finally became the size of a small towel.  He would hold the blanket under his arm with his thumb as his comfort.  Sometimes he would have “White-ie”, our white cat tucked under his other arm.

So like him we can use God as our security blanket or whatever we imagine God to be, placing Him in a safe spot to carry around during the day.

If you read in the Workbook pg. 425, What Is the Body?  Jesus tells us in the last paragraph:

“You will identify with what you think will make you safe  Whatever it may be, you will believe that it is one with you.  Your safety lies in truth, and not in lies.  Love is your safety.  Fear does not exist.  Identify with love, and you are safe.  Identify with love and you are home.  Identify with love, and find your Self.”

As you go throughout your day, driving, waiting in line, working, walking or exercising, project LOVE out at the world and everyone and everything.  Just look and with your powerful mind…..beam LOVE!  Love is our Security Blanket in all situations.

Beam LOE it at yourself in the morning mirror: at  your depression, addictions, loneliness, worries or any problems with yourself or anyone you are holding a grudge or grievance.  Give it up and Give it to Love!

Here is the link to Lesson 261:

Just click on it and then click on “hear” and close your eyes and listen:

https://acim.org/workbook/lesson-261/

You are LOVED!!

 

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Rest in Love, Rest in Truth

On By SallyIn A Course In MiraclesLeave a comment

Apil 2014 2014-03-19 015

You are loved!  Most of us do not allow ourselves to feel it.  Why?  Don’t we believe we are lovable?  You ARE loved, warts, gifts and all!  Give yourself the gift of feeling it.  Really feel it.   Go to a silent place within, close your eyes and feel yourself being held, as if you were a small child again.  Feel yourself being rocked gently and a soft hand stroking your cheek and telling you that you are loved.  Feel the care and sweetness in your heart.  That is how God loves you.  Your spirit is love and as bright, as soft and innocent like this blossom.

I invite you to go to the A Course In Miracles website and listen to Lesson 109, I rest in God, being read to you as you close your eyes.

Here is the link to past in your browser:   https://acim.org/workbook/lesson-109/

The Course offers 365 lessons, one for each day of the year.  We being at lesson number 1 and  read a lesson per day and on the 109th day of the year we learn we can and DO rest in Love, in God and can be at Peace.   We just need to accept it.  At the end of the 365 lessons you will never be lonely again or feel unloved…….when you remember your true identity – God’s Holy Precious Son.

Happy New Year!

 

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Christmas: Giving and Receiving

On By SallyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

peace

Years ago our youngest son looked inquiringly at his Dad and said “Why Christmas?” It was a perceptive and honest question from his little three year mind. How would you answer that question? It is a good question to pose to our grown up selves. We rush about planning and making lists and drive ourselves crazy or get on the internet and figure out the best deals. We fret over what to give to whom and will they like it, that’s the big question. And then we imagine them opening it up and watching carefully for the expression that comes in that twinkling moment.

Maybe that “instant” is our gift! That shining twinkling moment when we made someone happy, made them smile and gasp with surprise. Then we hear their laughter, hopefully not a groan, and words of thanks or maybe a smooch!

My husband’s father loved Chocolate Covered Cherries. Every year we gave him a box. Finally one year he opened the gift and said, “Oh No, not Cherries again.” That was the last year we gave him cherries! How many of us have opened presents we definitely did NOT like and managed to feign appreciation showing we “love it” and have “always wanted one?”

Back to Why Christmas? Well it is all about Jesus and his Birth right? Look at how we avoid Jesus and his teachings these days. A few years ago I was reading a book about Jesus. The author had put his beautiful face smack on the cover. A gentleman stopped to inquire what I was reading.   I closed the book and showed him the cover. You would have thought I was pointing a machine gun in his face! He was absolutely horrified, shocked! His eyes were big, brows shot up and he looked like someone had hit him with a stun gun. His adverse reaction was palpable. He said “Oh” and hurried away as quickly as he could.

Where does that reaction come from? For over 2,000 years the world has had Jesus to deal with. All faiths have their concepts but where does that “aversion” comes from.

One reason (and I am not a scholar) could be because the Bible claims he is God’s ONLY begotten son. So where does that leave the rest of us and the horrified man? We know of families that have a favorite child whose attributes out shine everyone else; that special child. Could it be collective unconscious jealousy runs through a society feeling resentment and somehow unloved. It can fester over a lifetime and throughout the ages. How many of us, deep down, feel as adored as that baby? The sweet song, ‘Away in the Manager’ always brings tears to my eyes.

If we don’t resent him we may try to out-do him! Climb the highest mountains; make the most money; give the biggest gift; have the biggest house or most expensive car or? We are all looking for love and appreciation. Maybe God (and others) will love us if we do such and such.

And yet we celebrate baby Jesus at Christmas and sing carols to him not knowing that baby is also us, you and me. If we had been students of the spiritual book, A Course In Miracles, at the time our young son asked, we could have told him that baby Jesus was (and still is) loved very much by God and YOU my child, are too! We are all God’s sons, the Christ. God being Eternal Unchanging Love never condemns or rejects anyone. In the First Chapter of the Course Jesus tells us:

“You are a perfect creation, and should experience awe only in the Presence of the Creator of perfection. Equals should not be in awe of one another because awe implies inequality. It is therefore an inappropriate reaction to me. An elder brother is entitled to respect for his greater experience, and obedience for his greater wisdom. He is also entitled to love because he is a brother, and to devotion if he is devoted. It is only my devotion that entitles me to yours. There is nothing about me that you cannot attain. I have nothing that does not come from God. The difference between us now is that I have nothing else. This leaves me in a state which is only potential in you.” ACIM I.II.3.

So….Jesus our elder brother is devoted to us, YOU and ME, everyone! He demonstrates to us our potential. No one is excluded from Love not even a politician. He tells us we are all the same in the ego world because we feel separated from God and our only need is to choose love instead of fear and hatred.  And like Jesus we can offer tolerance, love and yes forgiveness too as we free our spirit from the tight grip of judgment and hatred. For 2,000 years his wisdom has endeavored to open our hearts and minds to the clarity of healing light. We come here to learn lessons, to see through the ego and world programming and to exclude no one from our love. All hate is from the ego; all love is God. When we give Love, we receive love.

That is giving and receiving.

Be like God – Love Every ONE!

Visit http://www.acim.org or http://www.facim.org

To find out more about A Course In Miracles

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January Peace of Mind

On By SallyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Mt. Shasta's Heart

OK – So it is mid January!  You may have made some resolutions about things you want to happen or do this year.  How you doing?  The only part of your mind that would care or “seem to mind” is the ego.  The ego is the part of your mind that carries the judge’s gavel and seems to run you around like the cartoon road runner.

But what if you set your goal at the beginning of each day so that no matter what happened that day you would have peace?

A Couse In Miracles Lesson 34.  I could see peace instead of this.

“Peace of mind is clearly an internal matter.  It must begin with your own thoughts and then extend outward.  It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises.”

Go to http://www.acim.org – click on lessons and then scroll to lesson 34.  You can even close your eyes and have it read aloud to you.

So – each morning, before you get out of bed lie there for a few restful minutes and ask yourself:  “What kind of a day do I want?  What do I want to have happen today? Run through all the events and circumstances that you think the day will hold.

Then looking at them all say:

“But above all, today I choose peace.  No matter what happens I want the peace of God.”

Then it won’t matter if you get the job interview; the check you’ve been expecting; the date or meeting you’ve been waiting for or the diagnosis you’re hoping for.  No matter what happens since your goal is PEACE, you will have it regardless of the outcome of any of the circumstances in your life.

On my white board in the kitchen I’ve written:  Today I want the Peace of God.   You can put it on a note card you carry in your pocket.

In Chapter 17. of the Course, Section VI. Setting the Goal, p.4. (pg. 366)

The value of deciding in advance what you want to happen is simply that you will perceive the situation as means to make it happen.”

If we decide in advance what we want, then we will perceive it and even if we don’t, we will be upset and then remember “Oh, I could see peace instead of this.”

Even if you get what you want, how long will it make you happy?

No matter what happens in our crazy mixed up world, you can have peace!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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See Love or the Call for Love

On By SallyIn A Course In Miracles, UncategorizedLeave a comment

See either Love or a Call for Love

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The United Nation’s International Day of Peace is Saturday, September 21. Imagine all the people in all Nations of the World stopping for 24 hours to think about Peace! Peace with other countries, counties, family and neighbors!   The above symbol is love in Arabic.

We don’t have to hate. Do we? Do we have to judge or condemn? If a trusted adult tells us that others are offensive we may tend to believe them especially when we are young. We are taught and most of us believe and accept but we certainly don’t have to. For example my mother was prejudiced against a certain race. I had played with some of these kids at school and liked them so I did not accept her belief but I did obey her and not go to their house. As it turned out my sister married a man of that race and low and behold, she changed her mind. A mind is a beautiful thing to change. Mom was a lovely person but she accepted her conditioning and passed it on. It reminds me of the Roger’s and Hammerstein South Pacific song, “You have to be taught.” But we do not have to accept society’s teaching. Hate is a choice.

Could it be that a part of our mind enjoys hate? Think about how you feel when you are in the “hate” emotion. Doesn’t it make you feel strong and powerful and above all right! Years ago I worked in an office with a young man who was mentally impaired. He was from a rich family and he annoyed me and I disliked him. Looking back after years of spiritual work I wondered what that was about. I think I hated him because he reminded me of my own mental impairment. I always thought I was stupid! We project onto others that which we have inside yet do not want to see or admit. It is projected out and seen elsewhere but heaven not in me! When I think of him now, I send love to him wherever he is and I believe his soul receives it. I know mine does.

Hate and anger are harmful to the hater in many ways.  Have you ever tried to be nice when you didn’t want to? What does that type of mental activity do to the brain/body? Check out the Every Day Health website, https://www.everydayhealth.com/news/ways-anger-ruining-your-health/ this site document from various studies, the side effects of hate and negative emotions on the heart and brain, creating stress hormones causing depression and even inflammation.   The ego is the “Master Judge” in our mind that runs our lives until we understand we are in fact miserable and see through the fog and decide to change our thoughts and choose peace. The ego very wisely uses projection and hate as a road block to love. We choose the ego until we decide not to. We however have a choice because we are a decider!

Hate is offensive.  When we see angry people it is very ugly and distasteful. We feel a churning inside. TV and movies offer a heavy diet of violence and hate an onslaught to the nervous systems.   To be honest we need to admit the hate we see reflected in the world outside, is also within. If we can admit that then we are no longer in conflict and it dissipates. Instead of pulling the “wool” over our eyes we just look honestly and in looking, it dissolves. If we don’t fight it or put up obstacles we avoid a pile of buried guilt being placed deep within the psyche to emerge unexpectedly, which it will. Look squarely at the angry person and see either love or a call for love. Try it. You will access a place of peace. You do not need to say aloud “I love you” merely think it. The mind is choosing love instead of the ego’s automatic response of disgust or hate.   Their anger is their momentarily condition but not their reality. In giving love, you receive it. You don’t know if or what you will “do or say” as the situation will depend on wisdom from the higher Self. But you can always think love.

This quote is attributed to Abraham Lincoln: “To defeat an enemy, make him a friend.” You could also say “To defeat an angry person, recognize it is also within and see either love or a call for love.”

If I exclude love from others; I am excluding love from myself. With compassion we no longer condemn.

We are the same, we all people and nations need peace. The Spark of the Divine is within everyone, so I challenge myself to look for it.

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Can we ever agree?

On By SallyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment
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Yes we can agree and it happens when we find common ground on SOMETHING!
The gift is in finding what that SOMETHING is that we can agree upon!
When we are in agreement there is peace.  Where is peace when we disagree?
Eventually when we master the Course In Miracles we will have PEACE even when “disagreement” is seemingly before us.
The Course says “See love or the call for love.”
As we learn to master the Course, little by little  the judgments are fewer.
They gradually become challenges to find shared values rather than separation.
I wanted to share the link below of Professor George Lakoff of the University
of California Berkley.  He explains why we disagree and has an example of how
we can learn to find common ground and become more agreeable!
It is 27 minutes  interview with Tavis Smiley of PBS  (if you cannot open it just google
Tavis Smiley)
 
Professor of Cognitive Science, George Lakoff, UC Berkeley:
 
“Teach only love, for that is what you are.”  ACIM T.6. I.13.
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January 21st – Women’s March

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Can we oppose and still be in peace?

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On Saturday January 21st I joined thousands of women, men and children in a “March” from the Library to the Band Shell in Lithia Park.  My intention was to choose peace and walk, join in camaraderie with everyone and stand for inclusion and respect for all races, religions, health care and in protection of our environment. More on the March later.

Today I listened to a CD of  *Ken Wapnick.  He was answering a question about kindness and the question was if when advocating we need to be kind but we also need to make sure we detached ourselves from the outcome or whatever we were advocating for.  The answer was Yes and the point Ken made was that “while acting out of kindness we DO need to detach from the outcome, that only kindness counts because kindness multiplies as it is unlimited but do not attach to the outcome and you will be happy whether you win or lose.  If you are upset you are invested.”

What I understood is that we need to proceed from a place of “Love” for everyone and exclude NO ONE from our love or oppose anyone or attack in any way.  We need to realize that we are all the same.  We share the same ego.  Everyone wants things “their way.”  We share the same correction; the Holy Spirit (the advocate for Good and God) is in every minds.  We all carry the LIGHT or the spark of God within that joins us in Oneness.

In a quote I saw recently, His Holiness the Dalai Lama said “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”  To “make peace with ourselves” we have to look at “what we think” and “watch” our thoughts and judgments.  Our thoughts and judgments are what make us peaceful or perturbed, they are our projections.

Watching our projections is a gift to ourself, to our family, community and the entire world.  For example, when looking at a judgment about anyone, turn it around and make it about yourself as well.  This is hard because the idea about “seeing something out there” means I do not want to “see it in here – in me.”  That is why we PROJECT it out. For example our President makes judgments about people all the time.  I may think it is terrible but don’t I do the same thing?  I don’t put them on twitter or TV and I don’t have the same exact thoughts as he but I do judge.  What is important is WATCHING and CATCHING and KNOWING and OBSERVING the ego thought projections so I will REALIZE what I am doing.

Most of us keep our judgments to ourselves or we share them with a close friend.  Many of us were taught “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything.”  Or “keep quiet and look intelligent but open your mouth and look stupid.”  But even when we think it – the judgment, it still in the mind and it is still separation, condemnation and attack.

We all have judgments and that is why the Dalai Lama says we can never obtain outer peace until we make peace within ourselves.  For peace within, we need to be vigilant for the judgments, own them, stop projecting and in so doing you are no longer in the misery of blame, condemnation or separation.   We all have an ego.  The ego mind separates and the way to peace is to watch it, look at it with the goodness i.e. the Holy Spirit in your Holy Mind and by bringing it to consciousness, it is gradually seen for what it is and diminished.

So back to the Women’s March.  There is nothing wrong with sending a message to the President as long as it is done from a place of love and not hate.  It is no longer hate, when we cleanse it of projection and separation.  I realize that I will be miserable if I continue to judge him instead of his policies.  I need to make sure that my advocacy comes from Love but does not exclude anyone.  Only loving thoughts reflect Truth and all other thoughts are from the false self or the ego.

I need to remember I can work (and walk) from that non-egoic place of love as guide and as a citizen and peace maker.  If I refuse to attach myself to the outcome then I will be happy.   I don’t know if my actions will be understood but I cannot worry about that.  If I am attached I will not have peace….and that is all I want.

Ken Wapnick, Ph.D. – visit http://www.facim.org – For books, recordings on the spiritual, mystical, metaphysical book A Course In Miracles and workshops by his staff.

http://www.acim.org

http://www.miraclecenter.org

 

 

 

 

YOU ARE COMPLETE, HEALED AND WHOLE

On By SallyIn A Course In Miracles, forgivenessLeave a comment

Apil 2014 2014-03-19 015

  • Note: You may not believe the statements below, you may not accept or welcome them but do not allow yourself (the ego mind) to question or judge them.  Merely find one that resonates with you and repeat over and over several times a day.   The purpose of repetition is that eventually you WILL believe.  Repeat it at night as you go to sleep, while driving the car, waiting in line at the grocery store or anytime you notice your mind  wandering to various thoughts. The ego will try to convince you this won’t work to keep you from ascending the ladder HOME and ultimately be free of it.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall?  Practice, practice, practice!

FIND A  STATEMENT THAT “FEELS RIGHT.”  REPEAT IT OVER AND OVER SEVERAL TIMES A DAY , WHEN DEPRESSED OR UPSET.  PRINT OUT A COPY TO CARRY WITH YOU, TAPE IT TO YOUR BATHROOM MIRROR, DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT.

  • I AM COMPLETE, HEALED AND WHOLE.
  •  I  AM SPIRIT, A HOLY SON OF GOD.
  • I AM ONE WITH GOD.GOD IS LOVE AND THEREFORE SO AM I.
  • GOD GOES WITH ME WHEREVER I GO. GOD IS IN MY MIND.
  • GOD PUT THE HOLY SPIRIT IN MY MIND TO ANSWER PROBLEMS.
  • RECOGNIZING I HAVE A SPLIT MIND, IN THIS DUALISTIC WORLD, I CHOOSE THE HOLY SPIRIT IN MY RIGHT MIND, NOT THE EGO.
  • IN QUIET I ASK THE HOLY SPIRIT FOR HELP – NOT MY EGO.
  • WHEN I GIVE LOVE TO EVERYONE I FEEL THE LOVE THAT I AM.
  • I AM LOVED, I AM A MIND, I MOVE FORWARD WITH CONFIDENCE BELIEVING IN THE STRENGTH OF MY SPIRIT AND GOODNESS.
  • I AM NOT GUILTY OR A VICTIM THE EGO WOULD HAVE ME BE.
  • I AM A DECISION MAKING MIND, AN INNOCENT HOLY SON OF GOD WITH POWER TO CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT THE WORLD.
  • INNER PEACE IS IN MY MIND – I CHOOSE PEACE NOW.
  • FORGIVENESS IS: RECOGNIZING PAINFUL THOUGHTS AND GLADLY BRING THEM TO THE HOLY SPIRIT AND LET HIM HEAL EVERY LITTLE THOUGHT OF HURT.
  • IN MY DEFENSELESSNESS MY SAFETY LIES.
  • I CAN BE HURT BY NOTHING BUT MY THOUGHTS. I THEREFORE CHANGE MY THOUGHTS AND CHOOSE PEACE.
  • I EXCLUDE NO ONE FROM MY LOVE.
  • I AM ALWAYS HELPFUL AND HARMLESS IN ALL THINGS.
  • YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IN GOD, BUT GOD BELIEVES IN YOU AND LOVES YOU
  • The above inspirations from the Spiritual/Metaphysical book: A Course In Miracles Visit THESE WEBSITES
  • http://www.facim.org
  • http://www.acim.orgwww.miraclecenter.org
  • NOW IS THE TIME TO TRAIN YOUR MIND…..PLACE YOURSELF UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF THE LOVE WITHIN YOUR MIND AND YOU WILL HAVE PEACE.

Be Kind; Be Strong; Be healthy, Be smart; Be YOU

On By SallyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

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Be Strong; Be Kind; Be Healthy; Be smart; Be YOU.

This is the message on a huge large billboard in the middle of the playground at Caughlin Ranch grade school in Reno, Nevada.

What a wonderful world it would be if every school had this message on the playground. What superb training for young minds! On the other end of the playground was another billboard with arithmetic quotes. And in the middle between the two was a huge painted colorful map of the US. Each state was a different color and no names so children could determine the names.

It was the Be Kind that drew my attention. Surely with this message there would be less selfishness, hatred, bullying and more understanding and thoughtfulness.

This school must have more peace than a school that does not have this form of educational care for its children.

How about organizing a sign like this in the community where you live?
Stop bullying in your neighborhood. It starts with education.